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Talkradar Episode 1 Transcript Edit
[Intro: “welcome to your doom”] [Intro song: Anamanaguchi, Helix nebula]
Chris Antista: Alright hi everybody. Uh, welcome to first gamesradar podcast. I am Chris Antista, to my left-ish is...
Mikel Reparaz: Mikel Reparaz, senior Playstation editor for GamesRadar
Brett Elston: Sitting next to him is Brett Elston, Nintendo editor
Tyler Wilde: Uh, Tyler Wilde here. Uh, my voice is kind of screwed up, sorry. I am the features and community editor.
Chris: Sexy, and who do we have on the line?
Dan Amrich: Me? Hi! I'm Dan Amrich from Official Xbox Magazine,thankfully in a different room from all of you guys.
Chris : And who feels the worst?
Tyler Wilde: Me.
Brett: Uh,probably Tyler.
Tyler: Yeah, somewhere after two packs of cigarettes I almost completely lost my voice so... That's why I sound like I'm having a rasp-off with everyone.
Dan: You sound like [couldn't understand] karns.
Chris: Kathleen Turner.
Dan: Sounds like [couldn't hear] will bust in at any minute.
Chris Antista: Well the answer is I feel the worst.
Dan Amrich: Oh, trick question.
Chris Antista: My shirt, my shirt reeks like mildew. Because I have developed this habit of getting drunk...and peeing on things in my room, things that look like bowls.
Brett: How many things that resemble bowls can you have in a room?
Chris: That's a good fucking question. I don't I have no idea, I mean like drawers.
Mikel: Drawers resemble bowls now?
Chris: Anything that can contain urine.
Tyler: Container-shaped things.
chris: And I, uh... Well I was going through my drawer the other day and... Remember the Katamari shirt? Totally mildewed. And I couldn't figure out why.
Brett: Is it piss humidity?
Chris: I peed on my own, I left with the shirt I peed on and let get mildewed because I was in a hurry to get to work, '
Brett: Made me laugh. Mikel's just shaking his head
Chris: I think Mikel is reading the internet. Mikel are you checking your e-mail?
Mikel: I 'm trying to find out how to mute people so we won't get this echo
Tyler: I'm on Digg
Dan: I'm writing an article for the next issue of OXM.
Brett: I'm peeing on chris' shirt.
Tyler: I'm reading XKCD and that's you know, a lot more interesting than your shirt peeing I'm sorry...
Chris: Holy shit. Fine, were going to go straight to strai- in straghit into our next topic.
Tyler: I liked your story.
Chris: You're dead to me.
Brett: It was a good story
Chris: But... I'm wearing a shirt covered in piss to a professional business
Dan: Apparently not.
Mikel: Well professional is debatable.
Chris: Top, top seven. What is it today Brett?
Brett:Tthe top seven this week is "The Top Seven Games That Don't Deserve Nostalgia". The idea being game that were never as good as we thought they were but we played them anyway but... I don't know, there just no other reason to like them. If you go back they're bad and they actually were bad then. Not like a game that has aged poorly. I give the example of Metroid where it was good then but now it's a hard, bad game compared to Super Metroid or whatever. Just difficult to play. But it was good as opposed to say. Sonic Adventure or Final Fight or any of the other licenced nes games that have been mentioned
Chris: well you know your spoiling the reveal
Brett: what reveal
Chris well, number seven
Brett: number seven is sonic adventure
Chris: that's right it was sonic adventure. now why sonic adventure exactly
Brett: because it's a terrible game. If it didn't look that way. If they put it out on n64 or ps-whatever then no one would've cared, the competition was ugly n64 games or pixelated ps1 games and then here's a very mediocre, serviceable 3d game. And with like “ooh camera angle things” and “ooh, things change and happen fast” “and there's a shark chasing you.” er, or-
chris: A WHALE
Brett: a whale sorry
Chris : and they brought that back too
brett: mmhm and they brought that back because it's such a great thing to not control sonic around and watch it happen I'm might as well to watch a cartoon at that point
Dan: how much of the love that it got was just because it was the first real sonic 3d game
Brett(under Dan): that's right yah know that's the thing
Dan: because they totally couldn't get it done on saturn I think yah know they had 2 different aborted projects there so I think it was al just like “oh sonic is here, he's really here”
Brett: yeah exactly, it was all just a build up of like “he's here” and four years later we'll all realise it was never that good but sega's gonna keep building off of that engine and make pretty mediocre games to the point where they're almost...a joke. At this point.
Brett: Unleashed ,Unleashed I'm happy about, it looks good. I'm hopeful-I'm hopeful for unleashed. I don't want to sound like I'm crapping on everybody's. Fucking. childhood memories.
Chris: no, no. I saw unleashed last wednesday. It looks pretty damn good but it also doesn't look like it has a lot of gameplay now.
Brett: yeah that's what sonic has devolved to like. “hey you wanna watch sonic have fun? You could hold right if you would like”
Chris: and in that, and in that respect-
Chris: it was just the way the camera whiped around his shoulder and like fly around his neck as he moved on to the next place.
Brett: that's that's so fun to play
Chris: it's on-rails, yes but that's technically everything a videogame is supposed to do. It's just prompted differently now
Brett:I'm more interested in that than is they said it was another 3d game, that's for sure I think the thing everybody is eager to talk about is the number 1 entry which was final fantasy seven [deep,close up rustling sounds] Dan:who is humping their microphone right now? Like is someone actually humping their microphone?
Tyler:sorry [chuckles] Dan: okay[with a laugh] Brett: Mikel's adjusting
Dan: it's alright
Mikel: headset was driving me nuts I'm sorry
Brett: it was a pogo stick and I had to jump, had to jump right now on this pogo stick
Brett: never mind
Chris: Did you make an analogy or-
Chris: tell me next time you do that
Brett: what was it
Tyler: final fantasy 7
Dan: yeah, you guys just went from 7 to one and everybody's going to have an opinion on this one.
Brett: what's in between doesn't matter
Chris:no I'm justsaying it's just like with final fantasy 7 you enrage the internet
Brett: yeah, because it proved the point that watching people get as mad got over a game that all I did was say is it's not as good as everyone makes it out to be. By everyone I mean the six million people or whatever that it was the first rpg that they ever played. So therefor it's their favorite forever, you can never achieve that level of greatness again. Even if it's a better game, it's not better. And then just how irate everyone got proves the fact that just as many people that were thankful that call out final fantasy seven like “you ruined my life, there is no reason to get up”
Chris: that's true
Mikel: yeah, yeah. And there was the guy who was like “I can't believe you guys spoiled this for me!”
Mikel: “what the hell is wrong with you”
Brett: eleven years is not long enough for...joe bob. Internet to figure out the biggest spoiler in the world that ERITH DIES.
Everyone in close succession: WHOA, OH, WHOA, WHOA WHAT
Brett: oh, queue up the sound effect.
[Dramatic sound effect]
Brett: too late
Chris:[while laughing] your talking over it. Anyway.
Dan: I still think that one of the reasons that everybody loved final fantasy 7. I think it's a base reason. Not only yeah it was the first serious, deep japanese rpg that people got into [door opening sounds] Dan: but yeah, played it for about like an hour and I can't stand it , it's just not my game I just differ. But then you see these people out there that are drawing pictures of tifa with breasts the size of her head and it's like "oh my god, digital girls are different than digital boys!” and it's like the first thing they fapped to and that's it. It's fappy fantasy that's it [laughs that sound like asthmatic heavy breathing]
Tyler: Final fappasy 7?
Dan: final fappasy, exactly. I really believe that's part of it. Like “but she was my first fake girlfriend, you can't say anything bad about this game”
Brett: Jill Valentine was my fist fake girlfriend so...
Chris: yeah who was, no..
Brett: yeah, some of the comments uh. Beyond the eleven years. I love the digg comment of the guy saying you ruined the game now I know this big spoiler, I don't know if I can even play it now.
Chris:[in imitation voice] It was on my list!
Brett: yeah, the next comment replying to his in digg is spoiling like everything that ever happened in the internet or movies or anything in like.
Chris: Bruce Willis is dead...
Brett: Bruce Willis is dead.
Dan: Soylent Green is people!
Brett: Snape killed Dumbledore, which sorry
Chris: adfas is Keyser Soze
Brett: and the comment below that is "I think the only movie you didn't spoil is 'Se7en' so please somebody spoil Se7en"
Dan: I know, I'm just waiting for "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?"
Chris: what's in the box
Brett: what's in the, It's uh it's uh it's his wife's head.
Chris: what do you think the statute of limitation of spoiling a game is anyway
Dan: you know we actually had someone take us to task 'cause we had somebody refer to a frame from screenshot from the last scene of bioshock, 6 months after it had came out. We thought that 6 months after we thought that it was fair that if you hadn't played it you probably are going to play- it was past the holidays you know like.
Brett: some people don't buy games until they are 20 dollars
Dan: yeah I guess so, and that's what we got. And that's fair, not everyone has the budget to spend 60 bucks on a game. but generally if you are just that interested in a game like "oh I can't wait to play bioshock" then you are going to at least going to rent it. in the. six. months. it was out
Dan: you look at shelf life so I-I think that eleven years is little bit of extreme. uh. dude, maybe you just need to level the fuck up. [laughter]
Brett: yeah, the thing that the same amount of time it takes to begin grade school and almost graduate high school. and he had that long. '97 to '08
Dan: and you blew it for him.
Brett: me, I am sorry sir. but I want him I want that guy to know. That I wrote in afternoon I don't even remember. and I went to bed without even caring. and then I-I ruined someone's life, that's wonderful. I also would like to add that I don't hate the game as everyone seems to think because. you can't even dislike it. you either love it it or you’re a dick and that's it. so. It's a great game, I played it I love it I put 70 hours into it, I did get the gold choccobo to go get knight of the round like a twot. But that doesn't make it the best game ever. and the amount of love and defense it gets all the time is outrageous.
Tyler: it was absolutely ridiculous. it was it was beautiful on digg about five minutes after it hit the homepage.
Brett: yeah well there was that one kid-
Tyler: it was buried
Brett: … well there was that one kit who you could tell who was just like typing so fast you coulditwas like his fingers were getting in the way of his comments and it was li- "hrgfgrghr my life!" and just like [chris laughs] Brett: each comment just got longer and louder until it was like-
Tyler: just vomiting words onto the internet. it's...
Mikel: also as you've as you've learned from this experience. you should not talk shit about games that came out when you were still in diapers
Brett: oh yes, somebody said that he wass still in diapers. uh? no.'96, '97, no that didn't happen.
Mikel: when the internet was still in diapers
Brett: when the internet? that's that's fair.
Mikel: now that you can claim
Brett: sitting on a prodigy or whatever.
Tyler. well if you are on the internet you were born after it was invented, naturally. because your using it.
Chris: I had to use it as a test case because I didn't get a playstation until late in the game. because, well. I made the choice with saturn.
Brett: I'm sorry
Chris: yeah, so I got a playstaion late and my friend gave me these like uh primer games. And uh, symphony of the night, popped it in. didn't stop playing it, love it all the way though. Final Fantasy, just didn't do anything
Brett: it's a very slow start
Chris: it wasn't even a slow start, I gave it like 3 hours.
Brett: for an rpg that's a very slow start. you need like a good 7 hours for any final fantasy game.
Chris: I I was intereested because I just finished ten
Brett: well, yeah that's hard to go back. Ten, ten in my opinion is a much better game, in every way.
Tyler: I never finished a final fantasy game [Chris gasps deeply] Brett: where's your sound effect? That was the perfect time
Dan(under Brett): god dammit dude [Dan laughs]
Brett: we've been talking about that sound effect for a week man.
tyler: and guess what. I- [dramatic sound effect]
Brett: there we go
Tyler: and guess what? I have something worse to share. I did play final fantasy seven, I played it the pc port of it.
Dan: oh well that's the rare one. the one everybody wants now.
Chris: yeah, why is that rare?
Brett: because nobody on pc gave a shit
Chris: I have like 3 free copies [dan chuckles] Chris: in high school, like I don’t know how I got them
Tyler: it was terrible. it was a horrible port.
Chris: really? was it terrible?
Tyler: it was literally like the took the console game and just like mapped some keys to the controller buttons and didn't do anything else.So it didn't do anything at all. I think at one point it crashed and I couldn't get past a certain point which is why I never finished damn game.
Mikel: 'caus I think like by that time it came out for pc, pc gamers had stuff like fallout and [couldn't understand, will edit]
Mikel: so it wasn't really quite that appealing
Mikel: it wasn't quite the epiphany that it was for console gamers.
Tyler: but I heard all these people freaking out and you know, circle jerking and getting all exited over it and I didn't have a ps1, I didn't really have any consoles so I thought I'd give it a try and I hated it just because the port was so bad.
Chris: you sound so sexy right now
Tyler: I know darling
Brett: going to jump all over this table
Tyler: I know sweet cheeks
Brett: [while laughing] "huskey"
Chris: well tell, uh what final. what was your favorite final fantasy game.
Brett: for me?
Brett: oh 4
chris: see, see internet, brett likes final fantasy.
brett: no well look, well everyone likes somethi-
Mikel: no, no, if you like final fantasy you have to like seven. That's a rule.
Brett: I forgot, well like. Well I do, it's just fourth on the list on the list or whatever. like why anybody cares what I think about that is hilarious
Mikel: that's the un-written rule of the internet which but coincidentally is written all over the place
Brett: one comment one comment that I read although I'm sure there were thousands others that pointed out that 7 gets called out a lot on overrated lists. so that’s that's true there is a balance there to meet but this isn't about this isn't an article about overrated games these were games that were not good and were never as good as they seemed to think.
Tyler: my favorite entry which got not as much attention as final fantasy 7 in terms of the fanboy hate was Oregon trail. Which we all remembered and we all loved but it turns out your right we didn't really love it.
Chris: it was something I played when my prents dropped me off too early for school.
Brett: but I can't believe people actually defended that uh I thought for sure people would be like have a laugh and "he oh that's very true, uh that game was pretty crap" but then there are those people "you never played it then did you, I loved drowning at the very last minute and losing everything"
Chris: this is my favorite comment about it "Eff this, oregon trail was the awesome. This article died of dysentery"
Brett: uh that's very-
Dan: Ooooh I see, comedy couture
Brett: buried, buried, buried, buried seven pages my life is flashing before my eyes! I had to click seven times!
Chris: I don't even think oregon trail is even a game.
Brett: it's barely a game, that's why it's supposed to be a joke entry because I couldn't think of something else on par.
Tyler: the only part of that game that's a game is when you have to hunt. Because then you get to shoot things. I was actually in an oregon trail 2 forcus group as a young Tyler Wilde, yes I was.
Brett: was this in canada?
Chris: what are you like 90, how'd you do that?
Brett: he's younger than all of us
Tyler: They were developing oregon trail 2 and they wanted to know what the kids want in it and everyone said "if you had something like the hunting only there's a burgler coming to rob you and you had to shoot them" So basically the kids wanted to play doom. and uh, that's what happened you haven't seen any oregon trail next gen.
Chris: Not even a DS port. And they LOVE DS ports. It's a naming simulator.
Mikel: It's a naming simulator and a watching an ox trot simulator, and maybe something'll happen as the computer rolls invisable dice.
Chris: You'll stumble upon bad water, water is always good.
Brett: Did you see that movie? Hard Rain, water's evil.
Chris: Oh that's right, Bruce Willis' weakness in unbreakable.
Brett: Oh, don't spoil that man!
Chris: Too late.
Dan: Well done, well done, well done.
Brett: Some next unh. Somebody pointed out final fight could've been double dragon. and I think that, eh, it's a fair point I didn't consider that. Because final fight I was super bored of it, even as a kid I just played iut because "look I'm beating the crap outta people" and everyother game was jumping on a turtle, and throwing shit. And I guess it was good to punch a guy in the stomach.
Chris: Dan mentioned games you fapped to.
Chris:I-I didn't do it to double dragon
Brett:because I was going to say
Chris: But, I would watch that intro where the girl gets put over the shoulder. Oh my goodness, I was salivatingat the bowling alley[couldn't hear]
Dan: They kicked me out of a bowling alley from salavating at the bowling alley
Chris: Final fight
Brett: Yeah, and all the copy cat games. Just It just got to the point where you couldn't go into an arcade without another 4-player, walk right and punch game. Just like choked every arcade in the country.
Mikel: Even that Alien VS. Predator game for the NES. Predator walks Right, punches Alien. Cody in final fight, same animation.
Brett: And then does his round house kick that I saw Predator do in Predator 2 I think it was. Right in Danny Glover's face[spoiler]
Chris: All that shit and he didn't even bother learning a suplex.
Brett: That's standard moves for a predator. Elbow drop too.
Chris: Now I have number 2 written down here. The NES.
Brett: Somebody actually thought.
Chris: That's not a game,
Brett: yeah, you're right
Tyler: That's-that's Nintendo Entertainment System.
Mikel: That's someone who can't freaking read is what that is.
Brett: Yeah, that's a case of "All I did was read the headline and the comments and didn't read the article but I'm going to have an opinion anyway."
Chris: You talking to me?
[Under Chris and Brett]Dan: By rage.
Brett: I'm looking at you!
Dan: Who needs facts when you have just rage to uh.
Brett: "You said the NES was terrible!" I didn't asshole, I said licenced NES games abunch of the licenced NES games, some of the licenced NES games were good. If it said capcom and disney on the cover it was good, if it didn't it was probably total garbage. As much as I love Godzilla the Godzilla game's aweful, the Ninja Turtles game was aweful, Back to the future I'm sure san will agree.
Dan: Dude I wanted that game to be so good, and I remember like "Aw I finally!" I got an NES late in life,I went from Atari 2600 to Sega Genesis. So later on I started scavenging yard sales and stuff and I was like "Aw awesome dude, I'm a huge back to the future fan I wear it out on my sleeve and uh. What the fuck is this, he's just walking up and falling into pot holes." I don't even remember what it was-
Chris: You collected clocks!
Dan: that's right you collected clocks. Because they're in the past! Don't you understand?